Grace and the Pope
A Weekend in Rome
It is in that latter context that I often find myself quoting him as having said that "Any job worth doing, is worth doing poorly." Frequently I will get pushback when I make that comment, but listen to Chesterton's logic. There are many times when we see a job worth doing, but judge that we do not have the resources — time, talent, financial means — to do it "well" . . . so we don't do it at all. He argues that if the job is truly worth doing, it is worth giving it our best shot, even if we think that doing so would be doing it "poorly." I've also heard essentially the same concept expressed as: "Perfect is the enemy of the good."
I think of this as I prepare to share with you the experience of a weekend in Rome. "A weekend?" you could say. There is so much to see and do in Rome that a week, even two weeks, doesn't do it justice. But, what if you don't have a week or two weeks. Read on and judge whether we "did" Rome well or poorly.
The year was 2000, a Jubilee Year in the Catholic Church, and, early in the fall, Grace's dad told me that Grace had been chosen as one of the 20 individuals from St. Edmond's to attend the Jubilee Day for Persons with Disabilities on Sunday, 3 December 2000, in Rome. The pilgrims traveling from St. Edmond's represented not only individuals with special needs, but also those who care for them in a variety of different ways. In addition to Grace, it included 4 other physically and mentally handicapped children who lived at the facility and got around by use of wheelchairs; one handicapped staff person employed at the Home for over 30 years, who also got around by use of a wheelchair; two adults with special needs; and staff members and administrators from the Home.
Gerry also told me that he, Grace's mom, Doreen, her sister, Shannon, her grandmother, Margaret Obal, and her godparents, her aunt, Chris Bowen, and her uncle John Obal, were all going to join the pilgrimage to Rome. I told Gerry that I took this as an honor to the entire St. Vincent de Paul Parish family, as well as to the Bowen family, and wanted to share the news with the parish family, give them background on the celebration, and have them join prayerfully in it. The Jubilee Day for Persons with Disabilities, the Bowen family's participation in it, and a meditation on this particular Jubilee Day from the Vatican preparation committee, were all published in our Parish Newsletter, and followed-up later with a further reflection. I remember telling Father Gabin, our Parochial Vicar at the time, that this was a celebration that I could get into — I saw some Rome celebrations as simply big parties, but this was real in my mind.
At our family's Thanksgiving dinner, I asked my sister Loretta, then C.O.O. of the Magee Rehabilitation Hospital and an advocate for persons with disabilities, what she was doing the following weekend — and we both decided to go to Rome. On Friday evening, I asked Jack Golaszewski, whose son Matthew had been severely disabled for twenty-eight years, what he was doing the following weekend; he was busy, but felt that his wife Barbara could go. On Saturday of Thanksgiving Day weekend, Carol Menscher of Boscov's Travelcenter found a flight and lodging for three. During the following week, my sister came down with bronchitis and had to cancel; parishioner Peg Walsh took her place for many years Peg and her family had helped in caring for Matthew Golaszewski.
Following lunch, we visited the Bowen family at the Casa San Giuseppe in the Trastevere area of Rome. The Bowens led us on a walk through some of the streets of Rome on the other side of the Tiber. From the Piazza Navona we three new-arrivals returned to our hotel to get some sleep.
Following the Mass, Barbara, Peg and I visited the Basilica of St. Mary
Major, ate lunch, and made our way to St. Peter's Square.
Father Xavier Paul had secured two tickets to the afternoon Papal audience,
so Barbara and Peg were able to attend.
For the audience, Gerry was up front with Grace and Doreen was seated much further back with Shannon. As the Pope was coming down the aisle, at the suggestion of others from St. Edmond's Home, Shannon was passed from one person to another until she was at the aisle seat. When he reached her, the Pope stopped to touch her and kiss her. Gerry was unable to see that because of the crowd.
As the Pope reached the front of the audience hall, he began moving to the right hand side where there was a ramp to the stage — Gerry and Grace were on the left hand side. But, then the Pope began moving toward Gerry and the St. Edmond's delegation. At the urging of those from St. Edmond's around him, Gerry picked Grace up from her wheelchair and carried her toward the aisle . . . where a guard stopped him. As it was described to me, Gerry stood there while others from St. Edmond's behind him were shouting "Go, Gerry, go!" Then, as the Pope neared, another guard took Grace from Gerry to the Pope, who caressed her, kissed her and blessed her. Both the Bowen girls had been hugged by the Pope!
That picture is indelibly etched in the minds of the Bowen family and the St. Edmond's Home community.
During the Papal Audience, I was outside in St. Peter's Square with a throng of people watching on jumbotrons the activies inside the audience hall. In the rush of activities that led to Barbara and Peg's getting seats in the audience hall, we had not determined in advance where we would meet after the audience. Nevertheless, as the 6,300 individuals were leaving the audience hall to join the crowd already in St. Peter's Square, we met almost immediately — the Holy Spirit! Then, as we were leaving the square, we met Father Xavier Paul who was to join us for dinner.
The dinner was pre-arranged at a specific restaurant and Archbishop Foley joined us; we had a delightful dinner together. When my brother, Father Bob McLaughlin, was a seminarian he worked several summers at The Catholic Standard & Times, and at that time Father Foley was the editor. Later Father Foley was one of his professors at the seminary, and the two of them became friends. As Monsignor Foley, he preached at my brother's First Mass, and as Archbishop Foley, he preached at Father Bob's Silver Jubilee. He became a friend to our entire family.
Father Xavier Paul then encouraged us to move quickly; he found a bench where Barbara and Peg could wait while he and I went into a sacristy. He had arranged for he and I to concelebrate Mass in a chapel in the crypt of the basilica, near the tomb of St. Peter. While we were vesting several homeless men joined Barbara and Peg in conversation, and when we left the sacristy and were led to our altar by an altar server, they joined us for the Mass. During the Mass, we remembered Grace Bowen, Matthew Golaszewski, and all with disabilities. We continue to be deeply indebted to Father Xavier Paul for arranging that Mass, and for concelebrating.
After Mass, we spent some time in St. Peter's, and then visited the Vatican Museum, the Sistine Chapel, the Basilica of St. John Lateran, and the Coliseum. Outside the Vatican Museum and again at the Coliseum, we met parishioners Craig, Linda and Cory Shea who were in Rome on a business trip. For dinner on Monday, Barbara, Peg and I joined Gerry Bowen, Chris Bowen and John Obal for dinner at a Trastevere restaurant.
We began making our way home Tuesday morning, following Mass at the Basilica of St. Mary Major.
What do you think? Was our weekend in Rome worth doing?
The Preparation Committee noted that we often turn our eyes from a person with disabilities, not always out of indifference, but because deep inside perhaps subconsciously they make us aware of how fragile and finite we are, feelings which we often try to suppress by our faith in "progress, science and technology." We have two choices: either solidarity, or rejection and negation. But solidarity is not just kindness, a good feeling: rather, it is both full and objective recognition of the person's right to full "citizenship," and above all a personal and conscious choice of our responsibility to enable that citizenship. We cannot limit ourselves to assisting persons with disabilities. we must instead take care of them.
The Vatican Committee's papers included the testimony of a grandfather, which he titles A special relationship:
"The news that our grandchild had been born with serious problems and was fighting for life, hit us like a hammer. Our first reaction was a mixture of shock, disbelief, of uncontrolled hope that things would work out, and of grief. In the weeks that followed we experienced denial, anger, growing painful awareness and, finally, acceptance.
"Laura had viral CMV and quadriplegia. We were able to accept Laura for what she was, and not for what she should have been. We became totally involved with Laura, spending time with her, helping my daughter Kathy to care for her, or looking after the other two children when she had to be away from the family with Laura.
"We gave emotional support and love with acceptance and confidence. Our involvement helped Laura to accept her situation, and it helped her parents feel less isolated and overcome with grief and self-commiseration. When I take Laura out in the car, I have a wonderful chance to tell her stories, speak to her and listen, with no interruptions. These weekly journeys have built a deep, happy bond with her and given me a role in her development and education. I have come to realize that Laura understands far more that it would seem.
"As a grandfather of a child with disabilities I have received much more than I have given. I have a special closeness with Laura's family. I have built closer relationships with my other children and their families because we all share the experience of Laura's family. I have acquired a new sensitivity for the needs and demands of other children with disabilities and their families. I have developed new appreciation for the talents of professionals and specialists, and a greater ability to help and console parents and grandparents who experience the arrival of a child with disabilities in their family. Above all I have acquired a very special friendship with a very special person, and experienced the joy and the closeness that a child with special needs brings to a family."
The Lord Jesus offered himself as a victim to human violence, the fruit of sin and abuse of freedom, that his Church might be resplendent (Eph 5, 25-27). The reality of sin is always present in the Church, the Body of Christ; this is why sometimes her members make choices which fail to reflect the will of their "Head."
Urged on by the vital impulse of the Spirit, the Church has the courage to examine herself and recognize her failure to promote the life of persons with disabilities. This Jubilee Day was a time for the Church to do penance and reconcile with persons who have disabilities; but also a time in which persons with disabilities offer forgiveness toward the Church. Liturgies should reflect both aspects. It was an opportunity for all to be reconciled with persons with disabilities and with their families.
This day was the beginning of acceptance and inclusion of persons with disabilities in every day life as persons with a special gift, not only for the fact that they are persons, but also because of the particular vocation to which they are called by God. With this act the Church becomes truly the house of the Father where each and every one finds fullness of love divine and human.
It was a day to overcome with concrete and significant gestures, through powerful witness, disability as separation, distance, diversity and to see persons with disabilities as persons filled with riches and humanity.
The celebration intended to rediscover guidelines and directives of the documents of the Church's teaching, which in many local Churches are not known, rarely studied, rarely assimilated, rarely put into practice. Therefore, it was an opportunity to put into practice these indications without hesitation, according to local situations and cultures for the full valorization and inclusion of persons with disabilities at all levels of ecclesial and civil life.
Local Churches, which for some time now have worked with success in this sector, have an opportunity to make a gift of their experience and reflections to other Churches that have still before them a lengthy task for the full integration of persons with disabilities in the life of the Church and society and they are stimulated by the Jubilee Day to continue along the path on which they have already embarked.
During the Jubilee Day, attention was given to the celebration of the Sacraments, and the proclamation of the Gospel both to persons with disabilities and to their families, some of whom may have never heard the proclamation of Jesus, or heard it in a distorted manner.
The day was an opportunity for study, reflection, and initiatives on the part of local Churches and parishes to focus attention on the person with disabilities; it is because of this Jubilee Day that the Churches and communities are able to embrace everyone: "the quality of a society is measured by the respect it shows towards the weakest of its members" (John Paul II, March 31, 1984).
This day intended to stimulate a mentality, which would penetrate "centers" of religious, civil, social political and economic formation to eliminate the "culture of death" and proclaim the "culture of life". In this regard, involvement and witness of life lived and committed by persons with disabilities and their families are privileged ways for the transformation and growth of society.
It was an opportunity for self-education in the parish community: helping see persons with disabilities with serenity and trust and overcoming fear and diffidence. Therefore, the stimulation which the parish receives, makes it grow so it will become a welcoming community free of ideological, mental or psychological barriers; beyond demolishing architectural and communication barriers, it sees these persons as a special gift from God, with Christ's triple ministry: priestly, royal and prophetic.
Jubilee for Persons with Disabilities
This webpage provides links to
the Vatican's preparation papers,
the Pope's homily, his Angelus address, and audience message.
National Catholic Partnership on Disability
The disability voice
of the U.S. Catholic Bishops, established to further implementation
of the 1978
Pastoral Statement of U.S. Catholic Bishops on People with Disabilities.